I'm back!

My, my, my.  It has been a long time, hasn’t it?  Last we spoke, I’d just moved to Cape Town, was still calling it the Mother Shitty, and was learning to be a human again. 

Well, Boolings, let me tell you, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED.  It was only when I was reading these old posts today that I realised two things.  1) I NEEEEEEED to start blogging again; and 2) I done growed up some. 

In the two and a half years since my last post, these are some of the things that have  happened:

• Mama Boo and I moved out from the friends we were staying with and, after a brief sojourn in what may as well have been a shoe box, we found an amazing flat with an incredible view, and have been there just over two years now.  Never been cosier or happier in a home since high school.  

•  I got a new fkn bed, and it's the love of my life!!! I've spent almost three years sleeping on a squeaky, springy, slumpy three quarter bed, and I was DONE with that noise, so I sucked it up and splurged on a double bed, which makes me feel like a princess with no pea.  It's the best.

• I got a job I loved, and worked my way up till I hit the glass ceiling that was in place there.  Asked questions and wanted more, and when I realised that wasn’t going to happen, and that it was sucking my soul out, I got my ass outta there faster than the Flash on his way to a ‘Netflix and chill’.

• After leaving the succubus of a job, I got my dream job.  I can’t rave enough about how amazing it is.  I know I always start jobs with this zing of excitement and positivity, but I’m almost six months in now, and I can honestly say I want to do this forever.  It’s THE BEST, even though it’s exhausting.

• Dated a very cute fuckboy (before that was an accepted term) for a very short period of time, and it all ended when he decided I was too much for him.  At the time, I was of course gutted, but realised that being too much for someone just means that they’re not enough for me.  Realised also that that’s okay, not everyone is.  (Old me would have lamented this for eons, but that bit about healing?  It seems to have sunk in somewhat.)

• Dated a smart guy, who made me laugh and think and moan, and thought that was enough.  It wasn’t.  Put up with two years of bullshit because I listened to my idiot heart instead of my much smarter brain (and MUCH smarter friends and family), and ended up with a break up text just shy of our two year anniversary.

• Found my tribe in Cape Town.  These people… I can’t even begin to sum up how incredible they are.  They’re nothing like I ever imagined my tribe to be, but my god, I couldn’t imagine my life without them!

• Let go of my obsession with hating Cape Town.  The me of three years ago would be scandalised to hear me say this, but I fucking love it, and I’m not sure I’d ever leave again.  Don’t get me wrong, Jozi will always be home, but it’ll always be there and I’ll always love it.  Cape Town, however, despite its awful drivers and onbeskof wind, has won my heart all over again.  It took a long time for me to realise it, but I think that now that I’ve settled and found something to fill my days that I absolutely adore, it’s made it easier to love, and to admit that love.

• Stopped denying my weirdness, and dyed my hair bright pink with a purple undercut.  And fuck me, I feel like myself again!  It’s funny; when I moved here, everyone said I’d fit right in with all the weirdos, but I denied that part of myself and tried to just blend in with the crowd and be a regular Jane.  FAIL.  I hated that, it made me miserable, and it never fucking worked.  Now?  Doing what I love, with people I adore and would take a bullet for?  I’m me again, and I’m happy again.

• Certified my old hipster status by FINALLY getting my ass to a festival.  Two years in a row, and I want to LIVE at Up The Creek.  Just look at this!  How did I miss this for so long, and how can I make it my life?  It’s the kitties titties, guys.  You should be there.  You won’t regret it!

It just goes to show, resisting change doesn’t stop it from happening; you just end up making the same mistakes over and over until you learn and grow. 

Having recently come out of the long term shitty relationship, I’m in a place of insane growth right now, and as much as it hurts, it’s fantastic and I’m glad for it.  I’m pushing myself to new limits, trying new things (shout out to Tinder and Secret Sunsets, and that’s just this week!) and becoming a whole new version of myself.  I think I’m gonna like this version more than the last. 

So, in short, now that I’m back, keep your eyes peeled for Wednesday Wonders, Tinder Vigilante stories, Shit You Couldn’t Make Up, and more! 

When You Say Yes

Via

My birthday is coming up.

Now, while this realisation usually results in squeals of excitement because it means there's a monster party on the horizon, the last few years, things have been a bit... different.

My 24th birthday was a disaster! I decided I would finally be a 'grown-up' and not throw a theme party. Instead, I booked a table at an Indian restaurant that came highly recommended. After no food or service for over two hours, we left, went to KFC and then home to play 30 Seconds. So... no more pretending to be a grown-up, then.

Last year, instead of having a monster, free-for-all theme party, I had a small, intimate murder mystery dinner. It was, in a word, awesome. But it wasn't without its hiccups either. My nephew had an accident in the early hours of the day of the party, so my sister and brother-in-law couldn't come. Still, it was a great party, and started a trend. :)

The thing is, it hasn't been about the party hiccups and disasters. It's about getting older. It's about mortality, which was a really bizarre and distant concept to me up until two-and-a-half years ago. Since then, it's been all too real. Birthdays have become less about the celebration and more about taking stock of what has been achieved in the last year, and planning the changes I need to make in my life for the next 12 months. Which brings me to my point.

I read this post, and started pondering what kind of list I could come up with for myself for, say, July? This is what I ended up with:

1. FINALLY become a blood donor

2. Spend a weekend creating healthy & tasty meals & menus for at least one week at a time.

3. Tell the people I love something that I adore about them, unfailingly.

4. Create something when the idea / inspiration strikes. No matter what time of day or night.

5. Clear out my cupboards, jewellery, accessories and shoes.

6. Make a new bag. Sell it.

7. Do not give negative people the satisfaction of getting to me.

8. Finish the projects I've started, which have been lying, half-finished, in the studio or spare room for months now.

9. Plan a holiday. Properly. Research. Vision Boards. Plan of Action.

10. Have the balls to rock an extreme look (outfit and hairstyle) just because.

Bonus: De-clutter my environment, and, by extension, my soul.

At the end of the month, I'll let you know how I did on these little goals, and, if this list has worked the way I'd like it to, I might even do a list for August. But that's planning ahead again, and that's rather scary for me! hehe

x