My, my, my. It has been a long time, hasn’t it? Last we spoke, I’d just moved to Cape Town, was still calling it the Mother Shitty, and was learning to be a human again.
Well, Boolings, let me tell you, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. It was only when I was reading these old posts today that I realised two things. 1) I NEEEEEEED to start blogging again; and 2) I done growed up some.
In the two and a half years since my last post, these are some of the things that have happened:
- Mama Boo and I moved out from the friends we were staying with and, after a brief sojourn in what may as well have been a shoe box, we found an amazing flat with an incredible view, and have been there just over two years now. Never been cosier or happier in a home since high school.
- I got a new fkn bed, and it's the love of my life!!! I've spent almost three years sleeping on a squeaky, springy, slumpy three quarter bed, and I was DONE with that noise, so I sucked it up and splurged on a double bed, which makes me feel like a princess with no pea. It's the best.
- I got a job I loved, and worked my way up till I hit the glass ceiling that was in place there. Asked questions and wanted more, and when I realised that wasn’t going to happen, and that it was sucking my soul out, I got my ass outta there faster than the Flash on his way to a ‘Netflix and chill’.
- After leaving the succubus of a job, I got my dream job. I can’t rave enough about how amazing it is. I know I always start jobs with this zing of excitement and positivity, but I’m almost six months in now, and I can honestly say I want to do this forever. It’s THE BEST, even though it’s exhausting.
- Dated a very cute fuckboy (before that was an accepted term) for a very short period of time, and it all ended when he decided I was too much for him. At the time, I was of course gutted, but realised that being too much for someone just means that they’re not enough for me. Realised also that that’s okay, not everyone is. (Old me would have lamented this for eons, but that bit about healing? It seems to have sunk in somewhat.)
- Dated a smart guy, who made me laugh and think and moan, and thought that was enough. It wasn’t. Put up with two years of bullshit because I listened to my idiot heart instead of my much smarter brain (and MUCH smarter friends and family), and ended up with a break up text just shy of our two year anniversary.
- Found my tribe in Cape Town. These people… I can’t even begin to sum up how incredible they are. They’re nothing like I ever imagined my tribe to be, but my god, I couldn’t imagine my life without them!
- Let go of my obsession with hating Cape Town. The me of three years ago would be scandalised to hear me say this, but I fucking love it, and I’m not sure I’d ever leave again. Don’t get me wrong, Jozi will always be home, but it’ll always be there and I’ll always love it. Cape Town, however, despite its awful drivers and onbeskof wind, has won my heart all over again. It took a long time for me to realise it, but I think that now that I’ve settled and found something to fill my days that I absolutely adore, it’s made it easier to love, and to admit that love.
- Stopped denying my weirdness, and dyed my hair bright pink with a purple undercut. And fuck me, I feel like myself again! It’s funny; when I moved here, everyone said I’d fit right in with all the weirdos, but I denied that part of myself and tried to just blend in with the crowd and be a regular Jane. FAIL. I hated that, it made me miserable, and it never fucking worked. Now? Doing what I love, with people I adore and would take a bullet for? I’m me again, and I’m happy again.
- Certified my old hipster status by FINALLY getting my ass to a festival. Two years in a row, and I want to LIVE at Up The Creek. Just look at this! How did I miss this for so long, and how can I make it my life? It’s the kitties titties, guys. You should be there. You won’t regret it!
It just goes to show, resisting change doesn’t stop it from happening; you just end up making the same mistakes over and over until you learn and grow.
Having recently come out of the long term shitty relationship, I’m in a place of insane growth right now, and as much as it hurts, it’s fantastic and I’m glad for it. I’m pushing myself to new limits, trying new things (shout out to Tinder and Secret Sunsets, and that’s just this week!) and becoming a whole new version of myself. I think I’m gonna like this version more than the last.